Diary of a Glad African Woman--Part 3

Yesterday I was on a 3 hour train journey,I was seated beside a beautiful African woman. I was chatting (typing) with a mate on my Blackberry and I hear her say “what is with this generation and the need for constant communication”. I turn to look at her and laugh, we begin discussing and she shares her story with me.



She has never been married and is 40 years old. She has not exactly given up on the idea of marriage. She has been engaged twice but never made it to the altar. The main problem was that the men could not get over her success. She sits over millions and has built a successful business from scratch. Both men had always said this was not a problem but a few months to the wedding started showing insecurities. Both times she called off the marriage. Now she has been in an on and off relationship with a guy for 5 years. He wants to get married but she is afraid of committing because of what happened in the past. She knows she may not be able to have her own kids anymore and is open to the idea of adoption in future. She spends a lot of time with her nieces and nephews who are very fond of her. In her business more than half of her employees are male. She has been said to adopt a more masculine approach at work like a lot of successful business women. However when doing business deals she still has to prove herself all the time. She cooks, she bakes, and she makes her own pizzas from scratch. She is very intelligent and did very well in school. She has won a number of awards for her achievements. She is a philanthropist and is often called to give empowering speeches to women.
I thought this African woman was a very ardent independent woman. However I am aware that the world may frown at a woman who has called off two weddings and is refusing to commit to her present relationship. The world would perhaps feel sorry for her as she has no children to call her own and share her wealth with. The world should not judge this woman; she got success at a young age and it’s a baggage she has to carry with her for the rest of her life. Will men ever get over their insecurities when dealing with such a successful woman?

This is the 21st century personally I would want to have it all balanced properly; the family, the home, the career. This I am told is a close to unattainable combination.

Dairy of a Glad African Woman---Part 1

My younger sister warms my heart. Her accepted wisdom is bold, her deciding to study Politics Philosophy and Economics did not come as a surprise to me. My parents cried “if you do not study Law you can study Law”. Africans approach to education has always been limited to professional courses such as Medicine, Law and Engineering. My sister called me 3 days ago while I was having lunch and said “I am going natural” “my hair I am chucking it off and growing my natural hair”. A day later on Skype through video chat she explained to me the politics in her decision. She explained ethically why it is wrong that I use Indian hair weaves. No doubt she questioned my ethics for at least an hour but in the end I agreed to disagree. She says the black woman will never be taken seriously if she keeps parading in her “genetically mutated hair” she called it. She now has so much hate for my Dr Miracles kit relaxer. I commend her on her plight I am sure she will look even more captivating with an afro. If I ever choose to join her it would be as a preference not in order to prove to the world I'm proud to be black. I enjoy the privilege of changing my looks only with the power of different hair styles. All races mutate their hair, Indian women spend fortunes to straighten, white women dye their hair, and my friend from Thailand spends loads of money getting her hair chemically curled. That aside I am due for a retouch should call to book an appointment at the hairdressers. I love you sis but I’ll continue genetically mutating my hair.